I am not feeling too good right now. I was really looking forward to going to an organised social tonight, especially after having read such a helpful e-book on talking to girls. I was hoping to have a chance to put some of what I had read into practice, and had my notes I devised with me on the back of an envelope in my coat pocket. I was feeling optimistic on the train, not terribly energetic, but looking forward to the night.
It was quite a long walk to the bar from the station. It was raining and I had my umbrella with me, and I was a little tired when I reached the venue. There were fourteen people due to attend this social, including some I was really looking forward to seeing. However I walked into the pub, which was a small, cramped venue, and I found our table that had been reserved for us was situated in the back corner. I had to excuse myself in walking to meet our group, and at this point I was not so optiminstic. The social was due to start at 8:00pm, and by the time I had arrived it was at least 8:20pm. Out of the forteen people due to attend, there were only four people there, and they weren't people I was particularly keen to socialise with. Being in their 40s and 50s, they also looked like the oldest in the pub as well. As I mentioned in a previous post, there are times when I want to avoid a social situation simply because its too much effort.
So I found myself stuck in a cramped corner with four middle-aged people I didn't really want to socialise with (please note I have some great middle-aged and older friends so I am not ageist its more that these were not people I really was drawn to or felt like hanging out with). I waited for a while, wondering whether to buy a drink (that would involve excusing myself through an obstable course of people to get to the bar) or whether I should just leave this social and find something better to do. The music was also loud and I couldn't hear people too well, which added to the effort involved.
I put my mobile on, pretended to make a few texts etc, and really wanted to find some excuse for leaving this social, I was wondering if other people would turn out, but couldn't see any signs of it and I even wondered if they would find us stuck in the back corner. After about 10 minutes, I said to the other guys, excuse me, almost pretending I had a problem that I needed to deal with. I went to the bar and was hoping to chat up a few girls there, but when you are tired, and when the place is loud and busy, you just cannot think straight or think about what to say and find your right moment to approach. The bar was crammed full of people, so I decided to leave the venue. I thought about going elsewhere for a while and coming back to see who else might be there, but because of the location of the pub that wasn't too easy, so instead I walked back in the direction of the station.
It was raining harder now and I was losing my bearings. A man who looked homeless approached me. His right eye was stitched up and he said he'd just had some accident that he said had made him blind in one eye. His appearance was a little distressing, but he said he needed a small bit of money to buy some food. On this occassion I felt I ought to help, so I gave him a £2 coin. I then proceeded to walk back to the station, trying to find my bearings, taking advantage of this my asking a few girls for directions periodically, getting a bit of practice in approaching girls. There was another organised social taking place at the other end of the town and I thought about trying to go along to that, but as I was feeling tired and with my socks getting damp in the rain, I decided to head back off to the station for an early exit back home. I very much felt like a man with Asperger's Syndrome at this point, walking back on my own to the station whilst seeing so many people around having a great night, feeling somewhat like I am not fitting in.
All in all a very frustrating and disappointing evening. For some reason I am keen to find opportunities to try to chat up women, and possibly find a girl the hard way. I feel after years of delayed social development, I am finally becoming able to do things I couldn't do when I was in nmy early twenties. But sometimes it gets frustrating finding the right means and places to do this.
Well at least after a bad day I can blog about it...
It was quite a long walk to the bar from the station. It was raining and I had my umbrella with me, and I was a little tired when I reached the venue. There were fourteen people due to attend this social, including some I was really looking forward to seeing. However I walked into the pub, which was a small, cramped venue, and I found our table that had been reserved for us was situated in the back corner. I had to excuse myself in walking to meet our group, and at this point I was not so optiminstic. The social was due to start at 8:00pm, and by the time I had arrived it was at least 8:20pm. Out of the forteen people due to attend, there were only four people there, and they weren't people I was particularly keen to socialise with. Being in their 40s and 50s, they also looked like the oldest in the pub as well. As I mentioned in a previous post, there are times when I want to avoid a social situation simply because its too much effort.
So I found myself stuck in a cramped corner with four middle-aged people I didn't really want to socialise with (please note I have some great middle-aged and older friends so I am not ageist its more that these were not people I really was drawn to or felt like hanging out with). I waited for a while, wondering whether to buy a drink (that would involve excusing myself through an obstable course of people to get to the bar) or whether I should just leave this social and find something better to do. The music was also loud and I couldn't hear people too well, which added to the effort involved.
I put my mobile on, pretended to make a few texts etc, and really wanted to find some excuse for leaving this social, I was wondering if other people would turn out, but couldn't see any signs of it and I even wondered if they would find us stuck in the back corner. After about 10 minutes, I said to the other guys, excuse me, almost pretending I had a problem that I needed to deal with. I went to the bar and was hoping to chat up a few girls there, but when you are tired, and when the place is loud and busy, you just cannot think straight or think about what to say and find your right moment to approach. The bar was crammed full of people, so I decided to leave the venue. I thought about going elsewhere for a while and coming back to see who else might be there, but because of the location of the pub that wasn't too easy, so instead I walked back in the direction of the station.
It was raining harder now and I was losing my bearings. A man who looked homeless approached me. His right eye was stitched up and he said he'd just had some accident that he said had made him blind in one eye. His appearance was a little distressing, but he said he needed a small bit of money to buy some food. On this occassion I felt I ought to help, so I gave him a £2 coin. I then proceeded to walk back to the station, trying to find my bearings, taking advantage of this my asking a few girls for directions periodically, getting a bit of practice in approaching girls. There was another organised social taking place at the other end of the town and I thought about trying to go along to that, but as I was feeling tired and with my socks getting damp in the rain, I decided to head back off to the station for an early exit back home. I very much felt like a man with Asperger's Syndrome at this point, walking back on my own to the station whilst seeing so many people around having a great night, feeling somewhat like I am not fitting in.
All in all a very frustrating and disappointing evening. For some reason I am keen to find opportunities to try to chat up women, and possibly find a girl the hard way. I feel after years of delayed social development, I am finally becoming able to do things I couldn't do when I was in nmy early twenties. But sometimes it gets frustrating finding the right means and places to do this.
Well at least after a bad day I can blog about it...
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