Last Saturady night I found myself in a situation that some people might envoy, and others might find decidedly awkward. I ended up being on a night out in town with a group of girls and being the only man in our group. One of the girls who is on my course at college decided to organise a night out, a few men were going to come but they didn't turn up in the end. Unfortunately all the girls were attached in some way
The girl organising sent everyone an email suggesting that we either come to her house or meet up in town. I thought about what to do and decided it was easier to go to her place first. I was the first to arrive, and a bunch of girls arrived soon after. Now I have read and watched many video clips about talking to women, and know quite a few of the principles. However when I find myself in a situation with an opportunity to put such things into practice, my mind tends to go blank and the best I can do is the usual mundane types of conversations.
For instance, I know one thing that is always key is being able to make girls laugh. However, my mind doesn't naturally think of funny things to say, as this normally involves instantanously having to connect a number of unrelated dots on the spot. If I try, it normally is not understood as a joke and it doesn't work.
Now I said this situation of being the only man with a bunch of girls can either be a fantastic situation or be awkward and difficult. Which way it is depends on how you manage to interact with the girls. For a man who knows how to take a lead in a conversation, mak the girls laugh, appear as strong and confident and demonstrate masculine traits, it can be fantastic. For someone who is not this way, the situation can be awkward, because benig the odd one out can make it difficult to engage in conversations, especially when they divert on to girly subjects, and you don't necessary feel that welcome.
Now on this occassion, as with any social situation, I do my best to try to appear attractive. I put on nice clothing, made sure my hair was tidy and used a bit of aftershave. I try to remain calm, not twitching too much, trying to look confident and not needy in any way, and to make good conversation, trying to show an interest in others and be positive.
However oftentimes, especially with an all-female group, the conversation veers in a direction that is not favourable, such an on girly subjects. I would be interested to know how the very confident, so-called 'alpha males' handly this, or maybe it never happens when they're around. This took place for a while in the house, and my best approach was to keep calm, show what intersted I could. When I felt there was a window of opportunity I would engage the girls on a subject, by asking for a femail view on something. On this occassion I asked three girls that were sitting on the opposite sofa, what I should make of a girl who's words and actions contradict each other. I don't know whether this is a good way to engage with the opposit sex, but I feel that anything that generates interest has some value.
The most interesting thing about the night was the car journey to the club. One of the ladies volunteered to drive us. There were five girls and me all crammed into a Vauxhall Astra. The larger girl sat in the front seat and the rest of us were crammed in the back, with some of the girls laynig down on the three os us' laps, trying to keep her head down so that she is not seen by any policemen. It was a fun journey, but the main thing I appreciated about it was that events like this give you good talking points for future socials.
We arrived at the club, and again I tried to look confident. If I wasn't sure what to say or do, my best policy is to look calm and confident and keep quiet, that way at least you are probably not scoring any positive or negative points in the social stakes.
All in all, it was a slightly unusual night but I did enjoy it. Being out with a bunch of girls was a useful experience and hopefully I;ve learnt something from it.
The girl organising sent everyone an email suggesting that we either come to her house or meet up in town. I thought about what to do and decided it was easier to go to her place first. I was the first to arrive, and a bunch of girls arrived soon after. Now I have read and watched many video clips about talking to women, and know quite a few of the principles. However when I find myself in a situation with an opportunity to put such things into practice, my mind tends to go blank and the best I can do is the usual mundane types of conversations.
For instance, I know one thing that is always key is being able to make girls laugh. However, my mind doesn't naturally think of funny things to say, as this normally involves instantanously having to connect a number of unrelated dots on the spot. If I try, it normally is not understood as a joke and it doesn't work.
Now I said this situation of being the only man with a bunch of girls can either be a fantastic situation or be awkward and difficult. Which way it is depends on how you manage to interact with the girls. For a man who knows how to take a lead in a conversation, mak the girls laugh, appear as strong and confident and demonstrate masculine traits, it can be fantastic. For someone who is not this way, the situation can be awkward, because benig the odd one out can make it difficult to engage in conversations, especially when they divert on to girly subjects, and you don't necessary feel that welcome.
Now on this occassion, as with any social situation, I do my best to try to appear attractive. I put on nice clothing, made sure my hair was tidy and used a bit of aftershave. I try to remain calm, not twitching too much, trying to look confident and not needy in any way, and to make good conversation, trying to show an interest in others and be positive.
However oftentimes, especially with an all-female group, the conversation veers in a direction that is not favourable, such an on girly subjects. I would be interested to know how the very confident, so-called 'alpha males' handly this, or maybe it never happens when they're around. This took place for a while in the house, and my best approach was to keep calm, show what intersted I could. When I felt there was a window of opportunity I would engage the girls on a subject, by asking for a femail view on something. On this occassion I asked three girls that were sitting on the opposite sofa, what I should make of a girl who's words and actions contradict each other. I don't know whether this is a good way to engage with the opposit sex, but I feel that anything that generates interest has some value.
The most interesting thing about the night was the car journey to the club. One of the ladies volunteered to drive us. There were five girls and me all crammed into a Vauxhall Astra. The larger girl sat in the front seat and the rest of us were crammed in the back, with some of the girls laynig down on the three os us' laps, trying to keep her head down so that she is not seen by any policemen. It was a fun journey, but the main thing I appreciated about it was that events like this give you good talking points for future socials.
We arrived at the club, and again I tried to look confident. If I wasn't sure what to say or do, my best policy is to look calm and confident and keep quiet, that way at least you are probably not scoring any positive or negative points in the social stakes.
All in all, it was a slightly unusual night but I did enjoy it. Being out with a bunch of girls was a useful experience and hopefully I;ve learnt something from it.
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