Tuesday, 4 October 2011

They Think I Should Be the Class Rep But Cannot I Fit in Conversationally?

Well I completed a certificate in basic accounting last year, and in September I went back to college to do another year's study which will hoepfully lead me to get a diploma.
Many of the students on my course this year are the same ones  was with last year, although there are several new students. I have always made a point of trying to be socialable at college, and the main time for socialising is the mid-tutorial break in th refrectory. However, whilst I am sure no-one dislikes me, and people are reasonably friendly, I cannot help feel that I often a fish out of water when handing around with fellow students, and its been hard to pinpoint exactly why. However I feel the penny dropped at my last tutorial yestarday. What I've noticed at college often applies to other social situations.

I am by nature a very formalised individual. If I'm ever walking from one place to another with a group of people, particularly young people, I simply don't fit in with their very casual form of conversation. Sometimes whilst others engage in a casual, jokey chit-chat whilst ambling along the street, I may find myself having a slightly more serious or straight-forward conversation with one of the quieter people. This may be why I've often found I got on better with more middle-aged people than my own generation.

It is this casual, jokey type of chit-chat and banter that I find I cannot fit in with at college. I may be sitting in a circle with fellow students or walking to or from refrectory. Yestarday for instance, I was walking with a group of lads to refrectory, and one of them was joking about someone who thought it would snow next week, as a few long-range forecasts had predicted, and that he'd put a bet on that it wouldn't snow, and they were al saying in the casual kind of way "its not gonna snow." (In my area you get an average of one day per winter with a light covernig of snow - its vitrually unheard of in October!) I attempted to but in and contribute to the discussion by referring to a long-range weather forecaster Piers Corbyn, who critiqued the newspaper reports predicting snow. However, as I preceeded to make my contribution, I seemed to be locked out and overshadowed by the discussion, despite the fact I had relevent factual information to share.

It seems like that one incident is symptomic of my difficulties socially at college and elsewhere. For me, it feels like I am having to pander a lower and less intelligent form of discussion in order to win friendship.

I find this a very frustrating issue, because I consider it be far more virtuous to be genuine, factual and honest in conversation, than to have to dumb down your language and any relevent knowledge and intelligence.

Being Appointed as Class Rep

At the end of the tutorial the tutor announced that we needed to appoint one person to be the class representative on the college's student forum, which would involve occasional, optional meetings and possibly the odd free lunch. The tutor left the room for about two minutes to allow us all to confer.

Immediately after he left I spoke out to the class and said "hands up anyone who's relevatively free during the daytime." As everyone works in the daytime, no one raised their hand. Then another student proposed to nominate me, and then said "hands up who wants to appoint ...." Then every student raised their hands. They obviously see something good in me, so I left college with a good feeling.

It just goes to show that some of us who may be weak in mingling socially can excel with offered a platform to speak and announce publically. I'm glad I was able to demonstrate that confidence and an element of leadership last night.

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