The Toilet can Sometimes be My Best Friend

Friday 25 June 2010

The Toilet can Sometimes be My Best Friend

Here is a common pattern that takes place with me at organised socials when I am trying to mingle around and talk to people. Firstly, I get into a conversation with someone or with a few people. Then, either with one comment from someone or just gradually, the conversation changes direction into a topic which I don't know much about or cannot discuss easily. Initially I will try to follow along, and see if there is anything I can say to contribute to the conversation, but after two or three minutes, I start to feel conscious of the fact that I am getting a bit isolated. After about five minutes I might begin to feel it is time to move on and try talking to someone else, sometimes also spotting someone else I want to chat to. However I don't want to appear rude and just walk away. What I need is a get out excuse.

The tactic I have somehow developed is to say 'excuse me' then go to the toilet (its quite often at these moments I actually need the toilet, to a certain degree) as my way out of the conversation. Then once I'm out of the toilet, I can go back to the main room, and hopefully find someone else to talk to.

Often in a pub or a noisy environment, the toilet can be the one place to go for a brief respite, collect your thoughts, and prepare yourself once again to go back and socialise, maybe even to have another brief look at your social preparation notes from your pocket while no one is watching. Everyone needs to go occassionally, but no-one knows when you need to go. The toilet can sometimes be your best friend.

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Hello

I am a man in his late 20's, living in Southern England, working as a clerical assistant in an office, and learning to get through life with Asperger's Syndrome. To those who are unfamiliar, Asperger's Syndrome is a social communication disorder, a mild form of autism. As for me, it is not something that is noticable to most people, and I hope it is in effect a disability which is tantamount to being half deaf in one ear. If your friend is has only 50% hearing in one ear (as one friend of mine has) most of the time you would forget it and you certainly wouldn't regard that person as disabled. There would be occasions though, when you would have to remember they're partially deaf, and allow for the fact they might not always hear you so well. The same is true with having Asperger's. In a straightforward situation when everything is going smoothly, you might as well forget I have Asperger's. However when things get more difficult, particularly in a social setting, the effects of Asperger's Syndrome will become more noticeable. The purpose of this blog is to discuss the issue of social interaction from the perspective of one with Asperger's Syndrome. I by no means am intending to speak for all Asperger's people, but I do hope to enlighten my readers, through my thoughts, observations and experiences, as to some of the struggles and difficulties Asperger's people have in social settings. This is my personal blog so I may occassionally deviate away from the topic to Asperger's Syndrome. Whilst much of what I have written here is very blunt and direct, much of it is also very much related to my thoughts at the time of writing, and in view of a particular situation I find myself in. You cannot guarentee that what Isay in a partcular post reflects how I think of feel about something at all times. I have decided to keep my indentity anonymous, and names of individuals have been changed to protect their identities too. That said, I would delighted to see people get in touch with me. I really would love to make this an interactive blog with two way communication between myself and my readers, and if anyone wants to get to know me better, especially people from Southern England, I will be especially pleased to hear from you. I am happy to reveal my identity to some people, just not everyone who browses this site on the world wide web.