Reflections from School: When the Teacher Observes You Doing Poorly

Wednesday, 30 June 2010

Reflections from School: When the Teacher Observes You Doing Poorly

Throughout my schooling I remained in mainstream education, often with extra help from support assistants in lessons. I realised at one point, when I was around 14 or 15, that I found it quite stressful when the teacher would walk around the class observing everyone donig their work, if I felt I was struggling with the work or doing badly.

If my work wasn't going to be too good, I would rather the teacher would only see it after the lesson, when I was elsewhere, so I did not have to deal with their reaction to my work. Witnessing someone's reaction to something you've done badly is stressfull because it somehow requires a responce from you (when it is not a positive situation to respond to). Whereas if the teacher doesn't see your until after the lesson, you don't have to face the teacher's reaction if the work is sub-standard. That way if it's bad enough for the teacher to want to talk with you about it, they will at least have got over their initial reaction and be able to discuss it with you in a more composed way, and they will see all your work before you face their reaction, not just a part of it.

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I am a man in his late 20's, living in Southern England, working as a clerical assistant in an office, and learning to get through life with Asperger's Syndrome. To those who are unfamiliar, Asperger's Syndrome is a social communication disorder, a mild form of autism. As for me, it is not something that is noticable to most people, and I hope it is in effect a disability which is tantamount to being half deaf in one ear. If your friend is has only 50% hearing in one ear (as one friend of mine has) most of the time you would forget it and you certainly wouldn't regard that person as disabled. There would be occasions though, when you would have to remember they're partially deaf, and allow for the fact they might not always hear you so well. The same is true with having Asperger's. In a straightforward situation when everything is going smoothly, you might as well forget I have Asperger's. However when things get more difficult, particularly in a social setting, the effects of Asperger's Syndrome will become more noticeable. The purpose of this blog is to discuss the issue of social interaction from the perspective of one with Asperger's Syndrome. I by no means am intending to speak for all Asperger's people, but I do hope to enlighten my readers, through my thoughts, observations and experiences, as to some of the struggles and difficulties Asperger's people have in social settings. This is my personal blog so I may occassionally deviate away from the topic to Asperger's Syndrome. Whilst much of what I have written here is very blunt and direct, much of it is also very much related to my thoughts at the time of writing, and in view of a particular situation I find myself in. You cannot guarentee that what Isay in a partcular post reflects how I think of feel about something at all times. I have decided to keep my indentity anonymous, and names of individuals have been changed to protect their identities too. That said, I would delighted to see people get in touch with me. I really would love to make this an interactive blog with two way communication between myself and my readers, and if anyone wants to get to know me better, especially people from Southern England, I will be especially pleased to hear from you. I am happy to reveal my identity to some people, just not everyone who browses this site on the world wide web.