Saturday, 19 November 2011

Speed Dating

Last night I went out speed dating. There were fourteen girls there and I spent about three minutes chatting to each one. Prior to speed dating I had an hour's coaching with Alan who runs the attraction academy I've been involved with. I had previously brainstormed a few ideas for how to approach the dates, one who the use of assumption stacking rather than just questions, and a list of a few things I should say about myself and subjects that may be useful to discuss.

I arrived at the venue with another guy from the academy, we were directed to the room where speed dating was going to take place. It felt slightly awkward seeing the girls around who you knew you would be speed dating with in a few mniutes, so I tried to make a good impression by chatting to my friend from the academy and a few other guys around. One guy who was new to the town I spoke to was very helpful, in that my conversation with him enabled me to practice takling to the girls.

So speed dating commenced and it started off fairly smoothly. Having not done this before I did not know what to expect from the girls, or how they might want me to approach the conversation. I found early on that the girls were going into 'interviewer' mode with me, they all asked me basic things like 'what do you do?' etc, and I tried to give an attractive answer. On the one hand this made things a bit easier as it wasn't me doing all the work, but at the same time it makes it harder for me to stimulate a more fun and attraction-building conversation, when a q&a frame is being set. It was a contrast in some way to the ways girls respond when you approach them cold in pubs and bars.

I tried assumption stacking and second guessing things about them, as this is something I was trained to do in attraction coaching, but also asked questions. I don't think I quite managed to build a deeper connection with anyone or create any solid attraction. It is frustrating because when you're actually interacting with girls you forget much of what you've been taught.

One embarrasing thing though. I realised later that I had accidently used the girls toilets, with their not being clear signposts at the club and thinking that they were unisex. Over the break I went into a cubicle and could hear the girls talking abuot the guys they interacted with, and I fear that someone may I have said something negative about something I said to them. Oh dear!

There was also a moment when there was a bit of a mix up with the order of girls I should be dating - apparently that's quite normal.

One thing that was trickly was trying to hold a conversation which creates attraction whilst handling the practical matter of writing each girl's name and number down on our cards and making sure I get it right.

Well I am really hoping I will have some new contacts after this. I definitely want to do it again soon, and next time I will be much better prepared, because I will know the place, know the set-up, know the way that girls approach each interaction (interviewing), knowing in practice the length of time I have with each girl, and thus I will be in a better position to prepare myself better for the occassion.

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