I went to another organised social on Saturday July 10. It was altogether, a bitter-sweet affair. I won't go into detail because that will be very complicated, but it was one of those which I went to with a particular agenda in mind. And although I did eventually get to say what I wanted to say, it wasn't in quite the context I was hoping for.
I ended up catching the night bus home to Worthing at just after 12:30am. Having had a disappointing night I was feeling a lot bolder than usual afterwards, and at the bus stop it was fairly quiet but I saw an attractive girl on her own nearby, eating chips. In trying to work out which was the correct bus stop I decided to approach her to see if she knew, and it turned out she was also waiting for the bus to Worthing.
When we got on I asked her if it was OK for me to sit next to her, she said yes. Now this is hard to explain specifically, but my intention was to try to have a bit of fun with her, ask her a few tantalising questions (questioning or commenting on things that are turn-on for me, without her knowing it), and see if I could flirt a bit with her. After all we had half an hour on the bus with no other friends around, it had been a poor night for me, and this kind of opportunity does not come often.
Now it turned out she was on a hen night, and she had a boyfriend, which was a little disappointing, but not really a problem as I was not desperate to go out with her, I was only really interested in talking to her that night. However, when we talked about work, I discovered that her Mum is one of my colleagues atwork. Oops! I'd already said a few things by that time that I would not have said had I'd known we had any connections - but then again there was absolutely no way I could have guessed!
Nevertheless I was in a bold mood that night, so I carried on chatting to her. She was very tired, she explained she'd been out two nights in a row and had only had three hours sleep last night. As we moved towards Worthing, I tried to gage her reactions a bit and see if I could find an excuse to initiate some physical contact, without making her feel uncomfortable. Nothing sexual or threatening, but hopefully just fun and light-hearted. I did actually manage to find a way into the conversation to do this and make a bit of light physical contact, and she seemed to be OK with it. I suppose I was taking a few risks, but as I said, it had been a poor night for me, I was feeling bold and I am starting to become more of a risk-taker in life generally.
Well it was a bitter-sweet affair, because whilst I enjoyed the time I spent with her on the bus, and I fulfilled a few fantasies (this may sound strange until you realise my fantasies are extremely tame and incidental things, I may talk about this more in a future post), and gained a bit of practice and experience chatting to a girl, my concern now is if she will report any of it back to her mother.
Fortunatly I don't think her mother at work will be one to spread rumours about me. But I feel the need to be able to explain myself if I am asked about this, as her mother may be a little suprised about me. I seriously hope I did not make her feel uncomfortable in any way, I don't think I did though she may just have been very polite, and I don't think I would ever have approached someone in this way if it had been on the way home from work or shopping etc, but after a hen-night its a different matter, a situation where girls may half expect to be approached by men, so I thought I would just try it out.
The best kind of therapy I can find in handling any embarrasing encounter, is to work out specifically why I acted in such a way on a given occassion, and be able to explain myself in as much detail as possible, if it becomes necessary.
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