Oldies are easier to come by

Tuesday 27 July 2010

Oldies are easier to come by

Before going into this post I wish to explain to any readers who may be wondering why I haven't posted anythnig here for over a week now. Basically I am a very busy man, I have to work 37 hours a week in the office and I've been working hard writing articles for Suite101. So its been quite hard finding the time to post anything here.

Besides I have been to quite a few social events recently, and have had a fantastic weekend. Though I am very analytical it's often hard to know how to explain everything and sometimes I don't have the time.

However, at an organised social I went to at the weekend, I got into a very interesting conversation with a few other 20 somethings. Basically, they were saying that it can be very difficult in your 20s to meet new people of a similar age. That's in the case of someone who is not in college or university, and has with few friends in their area, either they're new to the area or their friends have all moved away or married off etc.

One girl was saying that, whilst people may think the way to find friends is to join a club i.e. a sports club or hobby group, the same problem arises, everyone is much older. It was really intersting for me to hear this as it was the very thing I discovered about seven years ago, at a time when I was desparate to make friends of my age.

The thing is it appears that the oldies are easier to come by because they're more likely to belong to organised clubs. The 20 somethings will tend to hang around the pubs and clubs more, and whilst it is possible to meet new people there, that is very difficult if you go in on your own and try to start a social life from scratch there - you need to be part of a core group of friends to begin with.

The once people marry and have children, usually in the 30s, they become very busy becoming tied down with family commitments, unable to go out much, either to organised clubs and societies or out to pubs and clubs, and in any case such people are unlikely to have the time to build up new quality friendships.

It's only when people reach about 45 when they get to the empty nester stage of life do they find they have more time and may be inclinded to join a club of some sort - hence why oldies are easier to come by.

Now so no-one misunderstands, I have a very good relationship with many people much older than me. I have served on the committee of my local branch of the UK Independence Party for many years where everyone else is in their 50s, 60s and 70s. And I'd encourage all young people to integrate with older people.

However, when you are in your 20s and the only people you ever get to meet are much older than you, you do have a big problem, because as nice and kind-hearted as many older people are, there are some things they cannot offer which someone you're own age can. There is no scope for a relationship with older people, and interaction is usually not quite on the same wavelength.

This is a problem we all need to be aware of, whatever types of circles we mix in.

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Hello

I am a man in his late 20's, living in Southern England, working as a clerical assistant in an office, and learning to get through life with Asperger's Syndrome. To those who are unfamiliar, Asperger's Syndrome is a social communication disorder, a mild form of autism. As for me, it is not something that is noticable to most people, and I hope it is in effect a disability which is tantamount to being half deaf in one ear. If your friend is has only 50% hearing in one ear (as one friend of mine has) most of the time you would forget it and you certainly wouldn't regard that person as disabled. There would be occasions though, when you would have to remember they're partially deaf, and allow for the fact they might not always hear you so well. The same is true with having Asperger's. In a straightforward situation when everything is going smoothly, you might as well forget I have Asperger's. However when things get more difficult, particularly in a social setting, the effects of Asperger's Syndrome will become more noticeable. The purpose of this blog is to discuss the issue of social interaction from the perspective of one with Asperger's Syndrome. I by no means am intending to speak for all Asperger's people, but I do hope to enlighten my readers, through my thoughts, observations and experiences, as to some of the struggles and difficulties Asperger's people have in social settings. This is my personal blog so I may occassionally deviate away from the topic to Asperger's Syndrome. Whilst much of what I have written here is very blunt and direct, much of it is also very much related to my thoughts at the time of writing, and in view of a particular situation I find myself in. You cannot guarentee that what Isay in a partcular post reflects how I think of feel about something at all times. I have decided to keep my indentity anonymous, and names of individuals have been changed to protect their identities too. That said, I would delighted to see people get in touch with me. I really would love to make this an interactive blog with two way communication between myself and my readers, and if anyone wants to get to know me better, especially people from Southern England, I will be especially pleased to hear from you. I am happy to reveal my identity to some people, just not everyone who browses this site on the world wide web.