Further to my previous post, Saturday's organised social, which I invited my friend to, came and went quickly. As mentioned, this was no ordinary organised social, it was special as it was one of the group's occassional 'big' ones they put on, and this time I had my friend with me.
Naturally I am excited a few days before the event but become nervous on the day and more so as each hour passes. My friend kindly picked me up and gave me a lift to the event, and I was totally ready for it with everythnig I needed for the night with me including my preparatory notes in my pocket for how I would approach people. One reason I get nervous is that I don't know how the set-up in the room is going to be i.e. how many people standing, how many sitting, will there be chairs and tables, a settee, who's going to be there when I arrive, what will the opening scene look like etc, all these things impact upon the social dynamics of the event.
We arrived at around 8:30pm when the event was getting underway. The event was simply a large mingling session in a large pub, just people talking to anynoe they wished to, no structure. Everyone was given a name badge on arrival. When I saw and then walked into the main hall, I was nervous, I recognised a few faces but not the majority, and I almost felt like a little boy again, thinking back to days when I saw adults socialising when I was growing up and not feeling 'good' enough to join in (due to my age and Asperger's). I needed to compose myself and digest the place before going ahead and socialising, and there after getting our drinks there was a settee we sat on for a few minutes to digest the atmosphere. I spent most of my time then going up and approaching people, some I knew, many whom I didn't know.
How Did the Socialising Go?
I think I can say I pulled it off this time, and my friend, who was socialising separately for most of the time but privately observing me, agreed. I successfully managed to approach several people, however in such a busy environment it was very hard to hold down any quality conversations of any substance with new people, it was more of a case of "Hello, it's busy in here today how are you finding it...?" and just introducing ourselves. It occurred to me that, whilst these organised socials are a fantastic idea, as they enable you to go and approach people and make friends without climbing through loads of hoops (joining a class etc) beforehand, and there's very little cliquiness, (which I can say from experience is one of my pet hates, it has proven to be an real obstacle towards developing friendships with people of my generation), it is nonetheless very diffcult, though not impossible, to approach people you know nothing about. Knowing just one or two small things (i.e. with one person that night whom I hadn't met but seen in a few photos on facebook) can make the process a whole lot easier.
I also find that after preparing my notes, the sheer numbers of people in attendence make it very hard to recall you notes on approaching people, and you can never do what you may be intending to do, as there is so much to take in. You just have to do you best. Another interesting observation is that in a very crowded set-up, it can make it much less easy for you to determine which girls you fancy. The sheer numbers of people mean that your mind cannoty think straight about who you find most attractive.
It was great having my friend there as it enable me to find out someone else's observations of the night, which was very interesting. My friend was a little unsure of the event at first but was pleasantly suprised and really enjoyed the evening.
All in all it was a great event. It wasn't a long night, we both decided to leave at about 10:30pm. The only downside is that it was hard to sleep the following night!.
Naturally I am excited a few days before the event but become nervous on the day and more so as each hour passes. My friend kindly picked me up and gave me a lift to the event, and I was totally ready for it with everythnig I needed for the night with me including my preparatory notes in my pocket for how I would approach people. One reason I get nervous is that I don't know how the set-up in the room is going to be i.e. how many people standing, how many sitting, will there be chairs and tables, a settee, who's going to be there when I arrive, what will the opening scene look like etc, all these things impact upon the social dynamics of the event.
We arrived at around 8:30pm when the event was getting underway. The event was simply a large mingling session in a large pub, just people talking to anynoe they wished to, no structure. Everyone was given a name badge on arrival. When I saw and then walked into the main hall, I was nervous, I recognised a few faces but not the majority, and I almost felt like a little boy again, thinking back to days when I saw adults socialising when I was growing up and not feeling 'good' enough to join in (due to my age and Asperger's). I needed to compose myself and digest the place before going ahead and socialising, and there after getting our drinks there was a settee we sat on for a few minutes to digest the atmosphere. I spent most of my time then going up and approaching people, some I knew, many whom I didn't know.
How Did the Socialising Go?
I think I can say I pulled it off this time, and my friend, who was socialising separately for most of the time but privately observing me, agreed. I successfully managed to approach several people, however in such a busy environment it was very hard to hold down any quality conversations of any substance with new people, it was more of a case of "Hello, it's busy in here today how are you finding it...?" and just introducing ourselves. It occurred to me that, whilst these organised socials are a fantastic idea, as they enable you to go and approach people and make friends without climbing through loads of hoops (joining a class etc) beforehand, and there's very little cliquiness, (which I can say from experience is one of my pet hates, it has proven to be an real obstacle towards developing friendships with people of my generation), it is nonetheless very diffcult, though not impossible, to approach people you know nothing about. Knowing just one or two small things (i.e. with one person that night whom I hadn't met but seen in a few photos on facebook) can make the process a whole lot easier.
I also find that after preparing my notes, the sheer numbers of people in attendence make it very hard to recall you notes on approaching people, and you can never do what you may be intending to do, as there is so much to take in. You just have to do you best. Another interesting observation is that in a very crowded set-up, it can make it much less easy for you to determine which girls you fancy. The sheer numbers of people mean that your mind cannoty think straight about who you find most attractive.
It was great having my friend there as it enable me to find out someone else's observations of the night, which was very interesting. My friend was a little unsure of the event at first but was pleasantly suprised and really enjoyed the evening.
All in all it was a great event. It wasn't a long night, we both decided to leave at about 10:30pm. The only downside is that it was hard to sleep the following night!.
